You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize