he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
