I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
