no, he came in my armpit
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
there is glitter all over my balls
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