found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
