Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
