fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
