she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
