just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
