Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
