So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
