Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
