If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
