I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize