another moral hangover. fuck.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
