Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
