I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
