i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
As shirtless as possible
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
