I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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