Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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