i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
