The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
