Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
