Got a toothbrush?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
