I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
