I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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