? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
