Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
