Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
