she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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