I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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