just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
