I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
