yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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