cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize