stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
