I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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