Umm I'm too high to move.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize