think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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