It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
