Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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