i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Randomize
