I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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