I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
