I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
