no you cant smoke seaweed
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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