I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
In America we eat man semen.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
