is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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