And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
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