The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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