so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
