12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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