Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
