Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
