I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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