I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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