Kiss
Puke
youre lurking in front of me
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
