I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
