For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
