If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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