it hurts more in the daytime
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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