why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
