honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The power of my boobs compel you
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
